My best vintage score of the year came just at the end here, when I got this perfect Gunne Sax sun dress from bonetoothantler at the Bizarre. Thank you Chelsea! It is the culmination of actual years of patiently searching. And I actually got to wear it sans sweater sitting out in the sunshine yesterday.
Since I’ve gotten back in the swing of things here in vintagey fashionish blog land, I’ve been thinking a lot about feedback and comments. Explaining to a friend why I wanted a Blogger plug-in for WordPress to make commenting easier, I was unashamed to admit that receiving comments is a big part of posting blogs. I mean, what is the point of creating anything if you can’t share it with people and hear their reactions to it?
My dad was and remains a huge fan of telling people when you like or support or admire what they do. The few times he was able to come to a high school football game when my sister and I were teenagers, he’d wait outside the locker room afterwards to congratulate any player he thought did particularly well. As a former athlete himself, he understood the value of positive feedback. It’s a practice he passed onto me, and I always strive to do the same now, to compliment and praise people in as straight forward and specific a manner as I can muster. Especially when I recognize how hard they’ve worked or how little feedback they’ve received.
But it can be so hard on the internet, when there are a million things vying for my attention. I miss so much. Or I really like or admire something, but then get distracted and never let the person know. I am always surprised by how many people in my real life approach me to say they liked a particular post or am glad I’m posting again. I’m like “Really, you read it? Why haven’t you ever said anything (left a comment) before!? I would have loved to have known your opinion at the time.”
The chasm between readers and commenters is especially obvious when I have a Giveaway (as I am going to very soon!). Suddenly all sorts of folks come out of the woodwork with some clever thought and I wonder “Where have you and your brilliant mind been this whole time?”
And then there are the actual comments themselves. I love you ladies who take your time and post a very thoughtful response. I try to do the same. But I often, very often, fail. Blogging and commenting aren’t all there is to life, and they can be much too time consuming. And at least a brief comment lets the person know you were there and you paid attention. It’s easy to see the bloggers with huge blogroles who post one sentence comments on as many blogs as possible in order to receive as many one sentence comments on their own blogs as possible. But where’s the fun in that? The true human connection that we’ve all discovered by now actually IS possible through the internet?
I’m not trying to bitch here. I love my readers- the fact that anyone keeps up with and cares about what I have to say still feels novel and extraordinary- and I treasure most every comment my li’l ol’ blog has ever received, and especially the friendships that have grown out of them. I’m just letting some thoughts tumble out. Thoughts that have been brewing for about three years. Thoughts that I’m sure many of you have had. And I’m curious to know how my fellow bloggers would expound on them. And very curious to know how you all balance your real life activities and commitments with finding the time to post blogs and comments.
So uh, you know, leave a comment 
Oh Yeah! Makes my heart feel so good to know this sweet sweet beauty of a sundress has a pretty new owner! She is one of a few gunne’s now that just haven’t fit me quite right! But I can’t complain I now have a couple perfect gunne girls that fit me perfectly (OR good enough)
I completely agree about positive feedback and comments. I have a half hearted attempt at a blog and I think I would be much more inspired if I was getting feedback and a few more comments! Anyways, it was nice meeting you!
i have one thing to say: YES TO BANGS. you would look so amazing with bangs. get long ones to start so if you really really hate it you can easily pin them back. then if you like them (AND YOU WILL) you can go shorter. DO IT WOMAN!
I’ve only recently started following your blog, but I’ve been popping over for an extended period of time from the blogs of other ladies that pointed me here. I definitely agree that comments are an integral and enjoyable part of blogging that make blogging what it is. I have a small handful of regular readers who comment now and it’s so wonderful. I especially love when they are folks who’s blogs I also follow. You build friendships through comments, it’s quite amazing. I however don’t see the point of all those generic one-liners though. That wouldn’t suffice in real life, so why should it work any different online?
All right, Amber, this was the kick in the ass I needed to start commenting.
Honestly, I always feel awkward commenting on the blogs of people I don’t know “in real life.” I’m always nervous that they’ll think I’m a creep or annoying or… whatever.
Clothing has never really been my thing, but I watched your store blossom from the ground up. It’s been so amazingly inspiring and enjoyable! I never really saw clothing and the fashion world as anything more than vanity until I was introduced, through your blog and Sasha’s, to all these amazingly creative and complex women who use their fashion as an expression of their personalities or expressions of what they want to put into the world. I love it! It’s an art I may never dabble in, but maybe I will. If nothing else, it’s allowed me to be non-judgey of all the women I see who do put much more thought into their appearance.
As always, thanks for sharing!
Oh I get the same frustration when people tell me in person rather than comment… Though I’m guilty of not always remembering to let someone know that their post has moved or inspired me somehow… I have been reading your blog for years, gosh. It’s lovely to read more regular posts from you lately. (Also I went to a Steiner school too it’s so evocative seeing little snippets of what your Mycie is upto there) Lovely lovely lovely.
awww, i love that you point this out! i am dorkily in love with comments. it makes me burst with pride that anyone would care would i write or the photos i post. a lot of people in my personal life read my blog but don’t comment because they know we’ll just talk about the event/topic/photos/etc in great detail in real life. but comments from online friends and people who live far away, and people who i don’t really know, just blow me away with sweetness.
one thing i recently realized is that some people comment BACK. i personally never have gone back to check if i’ve received feedback on any particular comment so never expected that. but i hope sometimes that i’ve never hurt anyone’s feelings by not responding to an individual comment on my blog. i like the idea of a post like this just explaining how valuable and beloved the comments are. even the oneliners, kinda
sooooo love that darling dress on you. and i’m glad you got to meet chelsea. and her blog is awesome! she is so random and quirky and thoughtful and rad. i hope she gets more comments and posts more!
love to you all in this community. it really is a treasure.
Some interesting thoughts to ponder… I enjoy commenting as well as receiving them on my blog I so appreciate the encouragement I have received over the years from my blog friends…I have always wondered how people get so many followers. That seems like a full time job lol!! I love peeking over here and seeing what you are up to. I remember when I first moved out to California you were still selling dresses with your other friend. I was hoping I would be able to find great vintage stuff like you have but I never did. But our house is in the outskirts of San Diego back in east county and the few thrift stores there were not that good. You have a very good eye I love the stuff you find. especially that Gunne Sax I absolutely love the style of those dresses!! ~Love Heather
Ok, well I just got done whining in my latest post about how time consuming blogging and commenting can be and how I get overwhelmed by it all and then shut down completely. Basically what we talked about during our chat recently.
We all love receiving comments and I love when I have the time to thoroughly read and leave thoughtful comments on friends’ blogs but on the flip side, if I only have time to leave a few comments, I feel bad for neglecting others, so sometimes I just won’t comment anywhere because I know I won’t be able to comment everywhere, ya know?
But hey, go read my post ’cause you’re in it, you and that sexy leather camera case of yours
Speaking of sexy, you look gorgeous in your new Gunne, it’s the perfect color on you too!
I have been enjoying looking at both your etsy shop and through that your blog for several months now. I couldn’t help but wonder if you have felt that same tug that I’ve felt to connect more through your online work during these darker, colder months. Your photos and writing have a wonderful, warm, and lively spirit! Thank you for sharing them, because they truly make the world a brighter, happier place! Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones!
I love your blog posts and I adore you. It is so good to have you back and posting again. You have been an inspiration in my life; more than you can ever imagine and I am so grateful for you and your words. Keep on keepin’ on Mama!
Seems like a good time to say “Hello”! I’ve been following your blog ever since I found your post about your home birth. It was very inspiring. Now that I have my own daughter I love seeing you & your daughter grow together. So, I’m glad you’re posting again…and it’s nice to “meet” you
I found Violet Folklore on Etsy a few years back and moseyed my way here. I very much enjoy reading your blog. I find it be inspiring, cozy, and warm.
Interesting post, m’dear. I’m with Missa on how hard the whole reading/commenting thing can be and have developed a kind of personal policy on it: there’s a few blogs that I check on a daily basis (when I have a damn computer-that is. can you tell from the avalanche of comments that I’m trying to play catch-up right now?) and I almost always comment on all the posts I read on these blogs.
That’s basically you girls (you, heather, missa, brigit, mary, nicole, anne, sara, tina, sadie, andrea). If I miss a bunch of days I still go back and comment on back posts (as I’m doing right now.). If I miss a bunch of posts by someone who blogs a lot, like Brigit, I might comment on 2/3 of the posts I’ve missed.
Then there’s a bunch of blogs I try to comment on at least couple times a week. These are folks I follow regularly and who’s blogs I really like, but with whom I don’t have quite such a personal relationship. Yet. I am invested in their lives and thoughts, to a degree of course.
Other than that there are lots of logs where I comment only occasionally, mostly to let the writer know that I appreciate their blog and there are people out there reading. Then there are quite a few logs that I follow, but have never commented on really.
I feel the difference is that I feel pretty deeply involved with you guyses lives emotionally and want to maintain a connection trough the small dialogue of blogs and comments. In my own blogging, I get a lot of the latter category of comments, people who pop in and then don’t again for months. While I love and value the comments I get, I’ve only really realized in this last year that anyone beyond the small band of folk I know reads my log is reading it and mostly I try to actively block that thought out, so honestly I only kind of expect comments from those few folks. Man there’s so much to say on this topic. It’s a strange little universe out here, eh?
wow. novel. sorry.